zagreus-taking-time-apart:

steampoweredsass:

zagreus-taking-time-apart:

We teach kids to fear animals like rats, snakes, spiders, etc. that are harmless 99% of the time but do we ever warn them about the real danger

image

WHY DOES IT HAVE TEETH ON ITS TONGUE

I am a gooseologist and I can tell you that geese live on a healthy diet of children’s souls which can only be properly chewed with unholy tongue teeth

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

3 days ago
260,256 notes

witchlingfumbles:

satdeshret:

buginateacup:

Guys who try to use the “Are you on your period?” as way to end an argument always amuse me. Because it gives me the excuse to lean in close and whisper.

“I started my day by waking up in a pool of my own blood. Is that how you’d like me to end yours?”

omfg this is great

New favorite comeback.

(via australian-alien)

3 days ago
398,895 notes

hylianears:

notafuckingwizard:

Favourite Australian saying: “have a good one”. Have a good what? We’ll never tell. You’ll never know Australian secrets.

who’s gonna take the 82 hour trip down to no where land to tell these people half the english speaking world uses their apparently exclusive phrases

(via attractiveblogger)

5 days ago
144,457 notes
rnazerunner:

hangin out the passenger side of his best friend’s ride trying to holla at me

rnazerunner:

hangin out the passenger side of his best friend’s ride trying to holla at me

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

1 week ago
326,841 notes

redgrieve:

fluttertree42:

why do people have quiet respectful funerals when i die i want my ashes mixed with glitter and packed tightly into a coffin and then they blow up the coffin with explosives so glitter rains down on the guests while blasting “thanks for the memories” by fall out boy

jesus god almighty

(via australian-alien)

3 days ago
399,433 notes

bombing:

i came out tonight to get attacked and honestly i am having such a fun time right now

(via textpostsrus)

5 days ago
99,622 notes

lawebloca:

Rocky the French Bulldog Puppy Jumps Into His Human’s Arms ** video **

(via togifs)

1 week ago
1,640 notes

theverylostprincess:

daisyinaglass:

I CAN NOT GET OVER THIS

how does 6 seconds have such a drastic plot twist

(Source: vinegod, via australian-alien)

1 week ago
176,113 notes